I have been struck lately by how much we crave appreciation and how far a little appreciation can go. Maybe it’s because most of us work so hard. Often our efforts seem unheeded whether it’s at work, with friends, or with family. It’s easy to take for granted the efforts of others; we grow accustomed to people and what they do for us, and so fail to take notice. Or we assume that because there is reciprocity or remuneration, it’s not necessary to verbalize the recognition that an effort is being made.
When I work with couples, I see how painful it is to feel unappreciated. Partners often feel undervalued for the efforts they make to keep the household, including the relationship afloat. Familiarity can breed a form of blindness that obscures these efforts. Likewise anger and resentment can overwhelm the relationship landscape with negativity. Thus, helpful efforts towards progress become invisible.
Show appreciation every day and you’ll reap the rewards that come from a loving and respectful connection. Appreciation counteracts blame and acts as a balance to the stress that is involved in being part of any relationship. It’s a small effort that can reap huge rewards.